If you read my previous post Selfish Mom Needs, you will understand what hearing the word Mom means to me.
The light of my life came to the school yesterday. Since graduating from college he now has the time and the inclination to come back to his martial arts school to train. This means, dare I say it, that I will see Beloved once or twice a week. Joy, joy, joy!
I’ve been missing my kid for four years, especially the last few months. He’s been studying for finals and had six papers to write, meaning little to no sleep, lots of stress and little time for visiting. I was worried about him. Now that he’s out of school, I’m hoping those dark circles under his eyes will soon be gone.
Knowing he is done with college, I can’t let my hopes (of spending lots of time with him) and my expectations to become unrealistic. I have to keep myself in check. He still has to find a job and when he starts working, again I won’t see him as much as I like. I know that I will go to the school anytime he will be training. I know I will be
deeply disappointed if he doesn’t show.
Luckily for me his goal is to finally get his black sash this summer, meaning that I will see him more often. I can be Mom again. I can hug my kid, give him a kiss, and tell him I love him to his face. Sometimes he can tell that I need to be Mom a few minutes longer, so yesterday after class, he asked me, “Mom, do you want to go with me and get something to eat.” Like, yeah! Joy, he said the word, Mom.
Afterwards he decided he would drive me home, even though it was out of the way and Dad was still down the street at the school giving a lesson and would be done soon. He said he wasn’t done talking with me. Joy!
So I will relish the time I do have with my Beloved. It brings such joy to my life. And once you’ve tasted joy, you want it everyday. I’ll settle for once or twice a week.