Friday, November 5, 2010
Perfection, Where Are You?
The Spin Cycle has given us our mission should we accept it and that was to write about Perfection. I having just met her may not be the right person to expound on her incredible attributes and undeniable style. But I can say what she has meant to me and my life.
Perfection where are you? I'd look for Perfection all the time, but she was hiding somewhere. I looked everywhere but just couldn't find her. I looked for her in my closet, in my mirror, in other people, but Perfection was highly elusive and great at hiding. Maybe she was hiding in situations like in a perfect dinner, the perfect romantic date, or the perfect wedding proposal. It seemed the harder I looked, the harder she was to find. Where was she? Didn't she know how much I needed her? Chasing Perfection just made her run faster away from me.
How come everyone else seemed to have Perfection within their grasp? That woman's relationship looks perfect. His exciting career seems perfect. She has the perfect kitchen. That neighbor's landscaping is perfection. What a perfect couple. That woman has a perfect body. That man is living large. Her home is perfectly clean and decorated. Everyone else's situation seemed to be touched by Perfection.
Damn Perfection, where you hiding, girl?
Then I tried to become her creator. Maybe I could create Perfection. I could set up perfect situations or make perfect children or maybe I could assume Perfection's identity. But after many attempts, although a few were successful, I found that Perfection couldn't be created with any regularity, especially if my requirement was that everything, every point, every moment be perfect. It took a lot of hard, hard work to create Perfection.
Finally I let the idea of Perfection go. I understood the futility of seeking Perfection. No more expectations of finding her at my house, or at the party, or in my relationship, or in other people. Since she would have nothing to do with me, ha!, I'd forget all about her ass.
It was exactly when I stopped looking for her that Perfection started to visit me. Sometimes she visited for just a moment, opening my eyes to something marvelous. Perfection had a spontaneity about her. Sometimes she would stick around for a whole evening and on a rare occasion, she'd visit all day.
I met her in the oddest places sometimes. I could be sitting in my car waiting for my son to come out of school. My eyes closed, resting. The sun warming my face, melodic chirping of birds in the tree next to me. Then a wave of sound coming from children bursting forth from the building, and a sweet little boy saying, "Hi Mommy." Perfection.
I could be driving by a park and recognize Perfection standing at the top of a sledding hill. Or she would give me a newborn to hold. Sometimes she's hitchhiking and rides with us a while. Or she'll show up in my bed transforming into the loving arms of my husband. Perfection is an angel, a muse. Her visits are to be cherished as gifts, not as mandates.
So when I stopped searching for Perfection, Perfection comes looking for me. I like the arrangement much better this way. As a matter of fact, Perfection is with me right now. More often than not, I find her at the bottom of my coffee cup.
So off to Jen at Sprite's Keeper for more topics on Perfection, because she is one busy girl.