Happy Birthday Sis

Sister After Me is having a birthday today.  She is now officially 50 years old.

And a mother of a five-year-old.

She is also the mother of a 31 year-old daughter and a 29 year-old son.

And a grandmother of four, ages 14, 4, 2, and six months.

My memories of her go all the way back to the crib we shared, when exchanging or stealing her bottle was a favorite past time of mine.   When she was little, whenever she got mad, her hands became tightly clenched fists, her arms stiff by her sides. She loved mischief.  She loved fun.  She was always up for the challenge.

Boys adored her from the moment they saw her, five "boyfriends" in kindergarten was just the start.

Since she was a small child, she was always saving animals in distress. That crazy woman chasing a dog around on the freeway trying to grab it before it got hit by a car, that was probably her.

Although I was older, by one year, she was always the one I looked to for comfort, for confidence, for allegiance, and more often than not getting it.  I sometimes wished that she needed me as much as I needed her.

She is a person that believes that you get out of life what you put into it.  Karma is big on her list.  She is very health conscious, always reading and learning how to be healthier in body, mind, and the spirit.  She wants everyone around her to feel fulfilled, to feel balanced, to take things in stride, to be happy. And if you can't be happy, to find solace.  She makes the effort to plant that seed.

At her younger daughter's preschool graduation, she turned to me and said, "I am so thankful because I am here.  I get to do a re-do.  I wasn't able to appreciate as fully as I do now my role as a mom.  Being a single mom, I always felt sorry that I wasn't there as often for my older two.  I was too young.  My work took me away. But this time I get a re-do.  I can give my youngest the home, the attention, a family that has a mom and dad, some stability in her life. I get another chance, a re-do.  I'm very blessed."

Her life has been filled with many highs and lows. And I'm not sure she will ever know the stability that she strives for in her life.  I know she is a "master juggler." No matter how often life gives her another ball to juggle, she will be able to do it.

As a 50th birthday present, she is giving herself this year. This year is for her, for her health, for her happiness, for her indomitable spirit.  My wish is to  help her celebrate this Year of Me.

Happy Birthday, Evie.   I love you.

Seven Weeks of Smokey

Seven more weeks. Smokey is staying with us while Mom and Dad are sunning themselves in the Caribbean, really going back to their childhood homes.  This is Smokey, the most chill dog ever.  I don't believe in endowing animal with human traits, but he is...

the most patient, loving, comically endearing dog, such a character.  Perfect for my parents who are in their 80's.

QueenMaker and I had dogs when we were children, but we never owned one during our married life.  The whole family decided that we were just too busy to give a dog the quality of life it deserved.  So its been 40 years since a dog has graced our lives.

I would never volunteer to take care of a dog, but for some reason, Smoky loves me.  He adores me.  Maybe it's because every time I visit, Smokey gets a complete doggy massage.  I look at that fur and I immediately feel the itch.  So I figure he must too.  That is why he loves me.  I'm way too empathetic.

So I mentioned that I may, possibly, give some thought, ask hubby first, not sure, but thinking about it, on the fence about taking him. That means its a done deal to my Mom.

Every maybe hints at possibility.  Possibility means a potential positive outcome.  So every maybe means a positive and even enthusiastic Yes! to my mom.  She will always say, "But you said..."  I didn't want to disappoint her.

So we have Smokey for seven weeks.  You never know what to expect from a dog that doesn't belong to you.  But he is true to character.  With a big sigh of relief for me and especially to hubby, the dog shows great self control.  It's as though he has always been here.

Today, I swear he did a seven take.  We confused him, momentarily.  First I saw the double take, then the quad, then a seven take!  It was simply awesome.

So I'm beginning to feel like a "mommy blogger,"  okay more like a beloved auntie with a nephew visiting for a month or so. He's becoming our little bundle of joy, waiting for us, greeting us with so much love and enthusiasm, reveling in our affection, wanting to play.

And he can stand on his hind legs forever too.



 

Aging - One Lemon, One Lemonade

One Lemonade:

I've worn glasses since the first grade. I'm very nearsighted and my eyesight has progressively gotten worse over the years. My range of vision has gotten shorter and shorter that I feel more comfortable taking off my glasses and bringing whatever I'm working on right up to my nose.

But aging also means that now I need bifocals. Stupid aging. I hate you. I can't bring things right up to my nose anymore. I loathe the whole bifocal experience. But when I remove my glasses, my range of clear vision is now at a range of only 5 inches to 10 inches from my face.

QueenMaker is farsighted and also needs reading glasses. But because of that stupid aging thing, his range has diminished quite a bit as well. His range of clear vision is from 24 to 30 inches.

After hugging me the other day, he extended his arms and held me far enough away so he could see me clearly.


Me: You mean you can't see me clearly?

QM: Nope, can't see you at all. I mean I can see you, but not clearly.

Me: You mean that you can't see my face. It's blurry?

QM: Right. You have to be at least two feet away before I can see your face clearly.

Me: You mean no matter how old I look, you can't see the wrinkles or lines on my face?

QM: Right. Not up close at least. And really, not far away either because at 24 o 30 inches your facial features aren't as prominent at that distance. It's like you have a soft filter on your face.

Me: You mean like in the movies? That means you will always see me in your mind's eye as I was, not as I am. I will always be youthful and beautiful, with a soft glow. 

QM: I guess that's true. 

Me: Yahoo! What a perk. That makes me so happy. I could be an old hag, with a giant pimple or wart on my nose and you wouldn't know the difference would you?

QM: No. But I'm sure someone would warn me or something.

Me: Yahoo! Just think of it. You can't see me aging and I can't really see you aging either. That takes a load of my mind. I will from this time forward be timeless.


I danced merrily out of the room to look for a mirror.



One Lemon - When lemonade gets turned back into sour lemons, the flip-side.

My 49 year old sister who SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER, decided to go sledding with her 11 year old daughter. Everything went well the first five runs down the hill until on the sixth, when her sled hit a giant bump. She landed on her tailbone and compressed three of her disks. She is in agony.

Apparently it is a common injury that could have been very serious, in some cases causing paralysis. After some research on the internet, she said, "I should have checked the internet first before I went sledding."

Shouldn't we all check with the internet before we do anything?

Seriously. As a middle aged woman, shouldn't she know that speeding uncontrollably down a hill is never a good idea? Doesn't she remember that summer when her rollerblades caught the edge of a driveway and sent her hurdling forward, cracking both elbows? She had to wear casts that rendered her helpless. She walked around with her arms in a perpetual, "This is a hold up! Hands in the air!" kind of position. She couldn't feed, dress, or wipe herself for weeks.


Remember people. The body hates impact. It will make you pay.



So if you’re into high impact or prefer softer speed bumps, sled on over to Keely’s, oh sorry, I mean Bitchin' Wives Club, for some high speed and invigorating Random Tuesday Thoughts, but put your glasses on first.

Spontaneous Northern Day aka Snow Day

Every once in a while, the planets align and unexpected bliss rains upon the hopeful.


The snow comes just at the right time.  Time enough to close school for the full day.


The snow stops just at the right time.  Early morning hours, giving you plenty of time to play out there.


The snow is the right type.  Not too wet, not too powdery, but the proper weight and consistency.


The snow pile is just high enough.  Plenty of powder, but not enough to give anyone a heart attack.


And the best thing of all, because the timing is just right,  Mom or Dad gets to stay home too.


And finally, it happens.  The day is here!  


And when we drove by the park, I made QueenMaker stop the car to watch.  We both were filled with happiness because we knew that perfection had arrived. We remember fondly the feeling of it.  

A spontaneous day had arrived, when there are no other plans than to play in the snow.

I didn't want to let it go and quickly got out to take a picture.  The wide hill was full of people, more than I had ever seen.  My picture does not reflect the multitude, or the joyful noise, or the smiling kids and parents.

But of course, it's hard to capture perfection.

The Day I Became a Queen

I walked into the choir room excited because today the choir would be rehearsing with a live band.  Just as I sat down I spied the guy on the drums and caught my breath.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Who was he?  I needed to know.  I never experienced such a "hit" before.  Why was my heart racing?  I figured he must be a college student, I knew I would never see him again.  Oh, well.

A few weeks later,  the school had to rearrange classes and homerooms.  I walked into my new class and there he was, blond, blue-eyed, long hair, and ready smile. And he was smiling at me.  His seat was behind mine.  He kept talking aloud to himself "really to me" so I could turn around and ask him to be quiet.  Over and over again.

One day, I heard the words, "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse."  So I looked through my book and found a picture of a great bronze horse, turned and said, "Here, my lord.  A bronze horse.  Now be quiet, would you please."

As I turned back to my book, he said, "Now my lady, I give you all I have. My kingdom is yours. You are now my queen."

Thrilled to my toes at such a proclamation, I wondered what the kingdom of a fifteen year old boy would look like.

37 Valentine's Days later, the thrill is still there, the passion is still there, and when we look into each other's eyes, we are still fifteen.  He has been true to those words he spoke so many years ago. He took a shy, self-deprecating young girl and made her feel like a beautiful queen. Over and over.

Thus his name, I knighted this angel of mine, QueenMaker.

Now onto more Valentine's Day Spin Cycles that will  make your heart sing.

The Kindest Eyes

I've been thinking about my nephew lately. He lives in California. I keep seeing his face.  About a year ago, he was here for a visit and during an anniversary party we had an opportunity to sit down and talk with him.  We miss him very much.  

QueenMaker said, “Will has the most kindest eyes I have ever seen.  Did you notice when he’s speaking to people, his eyes are always gentle and full of kindness.  What a great young man.”

To my nephew:

When a good soul comes along

It makes the world brighter

He’s good nature, helpful, and full of love

The glass is always full, his smile always shining

When he talks, he talks about family

The bonds of joy, the ties between us

He gathers us to him, his eyes singing his love

He wants and needs to know what we know

We watch him, his manner infectious

We smile because he smiles

We laugh because he laughs

We love because he loves so much

And when he listens, he listens with his whole being

With the most gentle eyes ever expressed

With the fullest of kindness that reaches deep

And when you speak and look into his eyes, 

your beings meet, talking soul to soul. 

Come visit us soon.  

RTT: Something's Got To Go

It's Random Tuesday Thoughts once again.   So in the spirit of randomness, I've written down the first things that popped into my head.

Question and Answer Period:

I’ve always wanted to hear a president say FU.  I believe I’m finally hearing it said, but in the nicest way possible.  The recent Q & A session between the President and the Re-pube-licks was a beautiful thing to hear.  I enjoyed it immensely.

There’s a metronome ticking in my head.  I think it’s the march of time.

Under-wire bras suck. I keep thinking I’m having a heart attack.

Biting my nails big time again.  That is not a good sign.

Bought a swifter kit.  Used it once.  Dust taking over.  Cough. Cough.

Of all my K2 sized flaws, my minimal housekeeping is the last guilt I must conquer.  I must figure out how not to feel so guilty about it.  Cough, hack, hack.

Thinking about my life roles a lot lately. Daughter, daughter in law, sister, aunt, teacher, role model, mother, wife, companion, lover, friend, queen, business owner, instructor, marketer, financier, manager, char woman, confidant, therapist, researcher, individual, and creator.  How do I satisfy so many facets of myself?  How do I satisfy the responsibility of each of those roles that I feel must be met?  

I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. So that is when distracting minutia takes place to help quell the guilty feelings, to keep me looking industrious and busy, and thus temper the demand of those roles. The benefactors will learn to say, “Well, she is so busy. Poor thing. How does she manage to do it all?”

That’s right. I can’t do everything. 

Housekeeping?  Sorry, you’ve been dropped off the list of top priorities again.  Hang in there kid.  You will always be on my mind, so don’t you worry.  We’ll pick things up again real soon. 

You may want to continue picking things up. I suggest you visit Keely at UnMom and pick through other Random Tuesday Thoughts.