Tuesday, December 22, 2009
She Brought Me the Christmas Spirit
I've been having either a menopausal moment, lasting for the last seven days, or depression is back like gang busters. It hit me like a snow shovel and I've been down ever since.
It seemed that the fates lined up perfectly to put me in this mood. It started when Middle Sister's father-in-law died and the whole funeral thing, not eating well or drinking much water because we were at services and wakes for two days and I was working my arse off, in heels! My feet, knees, and back will be talking to me for days after that. After the second wake, I drove a four hour round trip to take my nephew back to college, finals week you know.
This culminated with the whole, it's that time of the month thing, with several people asking me to do favors I DON'T want to do, the yelling at my Mom and husband thing, causing the very guilty syndrome thing. Add to that the whole, I'm not ready for Christmas thing but I have a kids party to host, and I have yet to buy Beloved anything thing, and nothing I planned is working out, and time and money is running out thing.
Other than that I'm okay.
As I was sewing Beloved's steam punk vest, (it only needs button holes and buttons, yahoo!) Little Sister and her three children home from college came through the door. This brightened my spirits because my niece and nephews were always considered mine too. Beloved was always with his cousins and our homes were practically interchangeable, acting as one household when it came to the kids. I missed them. I realized that not only was I missing being a mom to Beloved, but here were my other kids. They were so much part of my life and I missed them more than I knew.
They brought me a Christmas tree. The smallest the lot would let them cut down. It was a crooked four foot tall, "a Charlie Brown tree" she called it, exactly what I wanted. After they left, I went back to sewing. When I finished, I opened the door and the sweet smell of pine greeted me. QueenMaker had brought the tree in and had it in its stand.
The nostalgia, the smell, my big smile, the knowledge that I finally got my tree lifted the doldrums from my heart and head. I called my sister immediately to thank her again. I wanted her to know how her loving gesture was just the cure I needed.
I decorated the tree last night, wrapped some gifts. I feel much better now.
If you want to feel better, go over to Keely at UnMom for some blessed RTT.