Random Happiness

I love being around little kids. The four to six year old set are the best. If only I could shrink down to their size and run around like a nut like they do, that would be heaven.

I held our annual Valentine' s parents night out and kid's sleep-over at our school. The school becomes an indoor playground and we set it up so there's cool stuff to do in every corner.  One of my five year old students, Maya, came running up to me and said, "This is the best time I've ever had in my whole life! In My Whole Life!"  I take being the highlight of any child's day as a real compliment, but of their whole existence. Now we're talking.

Speaking about highlight of the day, Smokey the dog was not left behind. Since he is our guest for three months, we didn't feel right leaving him home alone for so long. Besides he seems to me to be a dog that would like a good party. So Smokey went to the sleep-over too. With six Lil' Dragons constantly on his tail lavishing love and attention, he had a great time. He slept all day the next day. That's what happens when you party too much.

Speaking of partying, I plan to be celebrating this weekend for so many random reasons, yet still connected.

First:  Road Trip. Yeah!
QueenMaker and I will be hitting the road and I love it. A short road trip, only four hours, but enough time to have great conversations, break out some jams and a gigantic bag of trail mix.

Second: Going to Chicago.  Sweet!
Beginning to like this city more and more, except for the surprising thirty-one dollar parking fee. We've been to the Historic Museum, to the Aquarium, had Chicago style pizza, and checked out the University of Chicago. My son moved there almost six months ago, long enough to explore what the city has to offer. We're going to Chinatown, a jazz club, and checking out a Frank Lloyd Wright home in the area. We're looking forward to his tour.

Third:  My Son, Beloved.  (blinking back the tears)
My one and only and I miss him dearly. This is our reason for going, to see our son. Our friendship with him continues to grow. Since our parent/child relationship is partially behind us, we hope that he continues to turn to us not only as his parents but as his dear friends as well.

Fourth:  Permanent Full Time Employment. Yeah!
Beloved has been discovered!  He has part-time employment at a bookstore and was hired as a coffee barista, but he works in all the departments when needed.  His store is closing so he's been worried about finding a new job. A woman customer noticed that he was everywhere it seemed at once. She complimented on his excellent customer service and his willingness to help out his fellow co-workers.  And then she offered him a job. Full-time employment with benefits and a raise in pay.  Woo-hoo!

Fifth: My Wedding Anniversary! Kisses.
This is why I picked this weekend to go see our son. To celebrate our love, to celebrate what our union gave us, Beloved, and to celebrate the many years of happiness we have shared.



Speaking about happiness we have all shared, head over to Keely's UnMom and read the tales of the more random happiness happening over there.

Sugar Make You Go - Go Do Random Stuff

Well I've done it again.  My motor is revving and there is no stopping me now.  Let me see.  Let me count the sugary ways that somehow, randomly, don't know how it happened, got into my body.  

First:

Pies:  Loads of them.  From Thanksgiving forward, there are pies and cheesecakes. Pumpkin pie, pecan pie, apple pie, spinach pie, strawberry cheesecake, turtle cheesecake, all the way to New Years.

Second:

Cookies! Tons and tons of them. My mother in law who has been pretending she's been dying for the last six months, had her medication adjusted by her new nurse, greatly improving her quality of life. She feels more vibrant and can breath more easily. To prove it, she made eight gigantic batches of eight different kinds of the most delicious cookies.  But with whom can she share these fabulous mountain of cookies?  Me, of course!

More cookies! The mother of a student of mine sent in a gigantic tray of homemade cookies and muffins, along with handfuls of chocolates. The centerpiece was two caramel apples, one covered in white chocolate chips and the other in dark.  Do I have to eat them all?

Christmas Party for the kids at our school.  All the wonderful parents brought treats, cookies, cupcakes, cookies, sweet tamales, cookies, twizzlers, and cookies.

Third:

Chocolates:  Who gave me this ginormous bag of Ghirardelli Squares?  Hell, who gave me this other bag of Ghirardelli  squares?  People stop it!

Fourth:

Birthday Cakes:  Why does everyone in my family procreate in March?  Ladies are you so cold that you pretend to forgive your husband, or pretend to be asleep, or suddenly your headache is cured, so you can snuggle up close and grab some of that fiery furnace heat coming off your man? Ladies, that can only lead to one thing.You know what I'm saying. Consequently December babies are dropping left and right around here!

I proclaim that March is a NO SEX month! Who's with me?  Please family, I can't afford the birthdays and the baby Jesus' birthday too.  No. More. Cake.


Fifth:

Baklava:  My Birthday.  For most people, they get to wipe their brows and thank their stars that the holidays are over and all the food they have consumed over the past two months will soon find its way out of their systems. But each year for my birthday I get a half a tray of baklava. And. I. Eat. Them. Like. They're. Potato Chips.  So there's that.


So as my little nephew likes to say, "Sugar Make You Go." 
Took my nephew to school.
Went to the fruit/vegetable market.
Went to the school to work a couple of hours.
Cleaned my room. It was a mess.
Organized my sewing and craft room.
Created a marketing slash office slash budget slash personal goals slash, weight loss plan for the next six months. As a spreadsheet.
Called everyone and made appointments with everyone.
Took down both Christmas trees.
Made onion rings.
Talking a lot to anyone and no one.
Dancing down the decked halls.
Imparted great wisdom on the web.
Reviewed the latest Adult Education brochure that came in the mail. Circled some classes.
Colored my hair.
Updated my weekly and monthly calendar.
Completed some on-line banking.
Reorganized pictures for our web guy.
Rewrote copy - four pages worth.
Emailed my son three times. I kept forgetting to tell him stuff.
Cleared off every flat surface in the house.  Almost.
Visited with my sister, niece, and nephew.
Baked chocolate chip cookies.

Yes, I made chocolate chip cookies. But thankfully they're for my 21 year old niece for her birthday. She insists I make her a batch every year before she goes back to school. She's a December baby too. The love of cookies is strong in my family.

Did I eat some of those cookies? Only one from every batch that came out of the oven. Or only the ones that were almost burned or too brown to give away. Only a dozen or so. They're almost gone.

Anywho...

The accelerated particle collider gots nuthin' on me. I might create my own black-hole right here in the living room. So stand back. No really. Stand back.

I've got more to do and there's so little time. I suspect that this sugar high will last about another week or so and then I can relax again with the same lazy panache that is so my trademark.



So onward to the next thing, and then the next.  Go to Keely's and check out the list of randomness going on over there and get back to me later.

Leaving His Heartbroken Parents Behind

He's in bed right now. In his own bed, in his old bedroom. His lease was up on his apartment so he moved home for his last two weeks in Michigan. QueenMaker and I get a few more days with our boy before he moves to Chi-town.

This means we will see him less. Visits will be farther apart. Luckily Chicago is not that far away, just a four hour drive. QueenMaker and I are already planning our trips.

He is about to embark in a new adventure. He loves adventure. He loves new experiences.  So the move will be a welcomed change from life in Ann Arbor.  He will explore his new city with gusto and call us with his discoveries.

We get to discover it too. Looking forward to Chicago deep dish pizza, the museums, the aquarium, and whatever else Chicago has to offer.

His dad has voiced it more than I have of late. I think he'll miss his son more than any of us know. So when Beloved packs his belongings into his car and drives away, our hearts will be breaking a little.

Quiet

It's quiet.

I haven't felt this way in many a moon.

No need to be anywhere.  No obligations to fulfill.   No guilt, no need to strive, no needs at all.

Time to relax, to read, to bathe, to sit in the shade.

A tall cool glass of ice tea and lemonade at my fingertips.

My eyes half closed, listening.

My mind quiet.  My body is quiet.

Quiet. It's so blissfully quiet.

Father's Day - The Emotional Roller-coaster Ride of Manhood

Go over to the Spin Cycle. Topic is Father's Day.  Enjoy all the great reads.


Father's Day was a hoot. I know of five arguments that broke out that day. Some serious, some not so serious, but it made for a really weird weekend. It emphasized how stressed out everyone is, especially the men in the family.

I feel sorry for guys sometimes. I was brought up in the "knight in shining armor" era, a fantasy held by many young women of my age. While my man was courting me, I fell in love with him because he was funny, brilliant, and talented. He did so many things well. Maybe that's why I thought he could fix anything and everything. Geez, wasn't he a husband and dad, a man ready to take on all problems and solve them.

Men come home to the news that a pipe busted, the refrigerator stopped working, the car broke down, or the sewer backed up. Then all eyes in his loving family look to him to fix it.

"What do you mean you don't know what you are doing? You're A Man."

And if you don't have the extra cash to pay for large repairs, men will get down and dirty and learn by doing, bitching and swearing all the way, coming up for air, red-faced, venting about the hour they just spent trying to dislodge a part that just won't budge.

We learn that they are as vulnerable and as fallible as we are. When reality pushed my fantasy aside, I realized we were in it together.  Together sounded good, fair and even empowering. How fair was it for me to think he could fix everything that went wrong in my life, just because he was the lead man in the family?

I realized that most men are really just the boys their mamas and daddys raised. Men need their women just as much as women need their men. In the beginning, we are all just inexperienced grown up kids before we become wise old farts.

Father's Day is usually a very nice day with events celebrating all the dads in our family. This weekend was an exception. It was a very weird weekend.

My brother-in-law picked a fight with my sister because, well, it was Father's Day.

My other brother-in-law picked a fight with my other sister, because, it was Father's Day.

My mother-in-law and her son, my husband, exchanged a few heated words. It was about to become a full emotional blow out but luckily cooler heads prevailed when the subject was changed. They let it go.

I thought I was going to have an argument with my hubby, when I told him he should apologize to his mum. But he would have nothing to do with it. He refused to budge on his position and I really couldn't argue with him, because he was basically right. Argument averted. Yeah.

My brother-in-law tried again and decided to pick a fight with the rest of his extended family via email accusing us of not doing enough in the care of our elders. We did not take the bait.

As my generation gets older, new responsibilities begin to emerge. As our parents age or pass away, sons everywhere are endowed with the title of Head of the Family. It's is a hard one to resolve sometimes, I suspect. I also suspect that the enormity of that bring men in any family down.

For some, this is the first year without their dads.

Several with mothers with latter stages of depression, Alzheimer's, and lung disease. Without adequate funds and no females family members, it's sometimes hard to cope emotionally with the highly personal task of caregiver and all that the job entails. They are stuck and want to escape, but can't.

So Father's Day, a day celebrating men and fatherhood. This particular Father's Day was a day full of problems with the women in their lives. They don't want the title of being patriarch of the family, that belonged to their dear departed fathers. There is a lot of guilt, stress and melancholy when dealing with their moms. They have to step in and take over the roles of their fathers, becoming their mothers' advocates, care-giver, financial advisor, and sometimes, her companion.

Stressed out fathers? Yes.
Feel like celebrating Father's Day today.  No.

Good Sleep Better Than ...

Yahoo!  I SLEPT ALL NIGHT last night.  Didn't get up once.  So, so awesome.

Been a full seven days when sleep has been good and last night was the icing on the cake.

I haven't been here in a few years it seems.  I'm going to guess that there is a "Pause in the Meno."

Yuk, yuk.  I'm making bad puns.  That's how giddy I am.

Yessssss!

Witness To Spring and The End of Smokes

I've been waiting for Spring for such a long time.  But with every Random Tuesday Thoughts rolling by so quickly,  I feel like time is running out.

I need to make every effort to watch the season carefully.  I need to be outdoors, to notice the ever changing landscape which seems to change hourly.  The baby greens burst out quickly this year.  The contrast from just a few weeks ago is striking.  It went from bare to lush.  The flowering trees are blooming and the spring flowers have made their appearance.  I drive past the park everyday and everyday brings something new. This week a blanket of yellow dandelions dots the landscape.

I sometimes look out the window from my desk and feel like I'm missing it.  It's as though I'm allowing another opportunity to slip by and unfortunately, that means another year before spring is here again. Even though I am fully aware of the spring, it's seem like I am admiring it from afar.   I've got to go out there and feel it, to be a witness to it.  

Because before you know it, six Tuesdays will go by and it will be gone. 

Computer or outside.  

Technology or Nature.

Small screen or panoramic view.        

Scattering distracting minutia or tranquil reflective centering.

Choices, choices.  

I wish I had a laptop, then I can take my technology with me and sit under a quiet shady tree feeling the spring breezes.  That would be so pleasant.  But that would be making spring background scenery, just a backdrop to my day.  It's not really an interaction.  And I'm looking for interaction.  

I feel it. A NATURE SAFARI is about to commence. 

I would highly recommend you take one in the near future. Go on an adventure. Take another human with you, one that would appreciate it.  Take binoculars, a camera, a sketch pad. Take a walk in nearby woods or county park. Put on your boots, cross a stream, turn over rocks, look for new growth, get down and dirty. 

Speaking about interacting with nature, Smokey, the most zen dog in the universe, will be leaving our care and going back home.  Seven weeks are up and my parents will be home on Friday.  QueenMaker finds the dog comical and has laughed non-stop for seven weeks.  I can't tell if he's laughing at the dog or just laughing because the dog makes him happy. 

For sure, one day, when we are old, and starved for affection, or craving for someone or something to accept our love one last time, we will get a dog.  Just like Smokey.  

So I looked him up. He is a tibetan terrier, which is not a terrier at all.  His doggie ancestors were raised by tibetan monks 2000 years ago. No wonder he's so zen. They were temple dogs and considered good luck charms. The monks would never sell the dogs but would often give them as gifts.  

It makes me happy.  You know the seven degrees of separation?   Smokey somehow connects me to the high altitudes of the Tibetan Himalayas, to the yellow and red robes of the monks, and to 2000 year old Buddhist temples.   Thanks, dog.

Now when I go visit my parents, will I go to see them or to visit Smokey, the Zen Dog.   

"Oh, I'm not here to see you, Mom. Just the dog."  

Oh she would love that.   First she would give me that look to see if I was serious.   Then she would pretend to be hurt.  I can hear her now.  Then every time I came over after that she would direct me to the dog, because of course, her daughter is not here to see her. I don't care about her, just the dog.  She would announce to the dog, "your mother's here."  Hey!    Oh, it would go on for weeks and weeks. 

Although I will miss the dog for about a minute, rest assured, my heart will not suffer any "Smoke Damage" when he leaves. 

(Yes, I said it.  Been trying to work that in for weeks.)

So if I haven't damaged you with my rather lengthy random post, work your way over to Keely at UnMom for more Random Tuesday Thoughts.

   

Happy Birthday Sis

Sister After Me is having a birthday today.  She is now officially 50 years old.

And a mother of a five-year-old.

She is also the mother of a 31 year-old daughter and a 29 year-old son.

And a grandmother of four, ages 14, 4, 2, and six months.

My memories of her go all the way back to the crib we shared, when exchanging or stealing her bottle was a favorite past time of mine.   When she was little, whenever she got mad, her hands became tightly clenched fists, her arms stiff by her sides. She loved mischief.  She loved fun.  She was always up for the challenge.

Boys adored her from the moment they saw her, five "boyfriends" in kindergarten was just the start.

Since she was a small child, she was always saving animals in distress. That crazy woman chasing a dog around on the freeway trying to grab it before it got hit by a car, that was probably her.

Although I was older, by one year, she was always the one I looked to for comfort, for confidence, for allegiance, and more often than not getting it.  I sometimes wished that she needed me as much as I needed her.

She is a person that believes that you get out of life what you put into it.  Karma is big on her list.  She is very health conscious, always reading and learning how to be healthier in body, mind, and the spirit.  She wants everyone around her to feel fulfilled, to feel balanced, to take things in stride, to be happy. And if you can't be happy, to find solace.  She makes the effort to plant that seed.

At her younger daughter's preschool graduation, she turned to me and said, "I am so thankful because I am here.  I get to do a re-do.  I wasn't able to appreciate as fully as I do now my role as a mom.  Being a single mom, I always felt sorry that I wasn't there as often for my older two.  I was too young.  My work took me away. But this time I get a re-do.  I can give my youngest the home, the attention, a family that has a mom and dad, some stability in her life. I get another chance, a re-do.  I'm very blessed."

Her life has been filled with many highs and lows. And I'm not sure she will ever know the stability that she strives for in her life.  I know she is a "master juggler." No matter how often life gives her another ball to juggle, she will be able to do it.

As a 50th birthday present, she is giving herself this year. This year is for her, for her health, for her happiness, for her indomitable spirit.  My wish is to  help her celebrate this Year of Me.

Happy Birthday, Evie.   I love you.