Random Happiness

I love being around little kids. The four to six year old set are the best. If only I could shrink down to their size and run around like a nut like they do, that would be heaven.

I held our annual Valentine' s parents night out and kid's sleep-over at our school. The school becomes an indoor playground and we set it up so there's cool stuff to do in every corner.  One of my five year old students, Maya, came running up to me and said, "This is the best time I've ever had in my whole life! In My Whole Life!"  I take being the highlight of any child's day as a real compliment, but of their whole existence. Now we're talking.

Speaking about highlight of the day, Smokey the dog was not left behind. Since he is our guest for three months, we didn't feel right leaving him home alone for so long. Besides he seems to me to be a dog that would like a good party. So Smokey went to the sleep-over too. With six Lil' Dragons constantly on his tail lavishing love and attention, he had a great time. He slept all day the next day. That's what happens when you party too much.

Speaking of partying, I plan to be celebrating this weekend for so many random reasons, yet still connected.

First:  Road Trip. Yeah!
QueenMaker and I will be hitting the road and I love it. A short road trip, only four hours, but enough time to have great conversations, break out some jams and a gigantic bag of trail mix.

Second: Going to Chicago.  Sweet!
Beginning to like this city more and more, except for the surprising thirty-one dollar parking fee. We've been to the Historic Museum, to the Aquarium, had Chicago style pizza, and checked out the University of Chicago. My son moved there almost six months ago, long enough to explore what the city has to offer. We're going to Chinatown, a jazz club, and checking out a Frank Lloyd Wright home in the area. We're looking forward to his tour.

Third:  My Son, Beloved.  (blinking back the tears)
My one and only and I miss him dearly. This is our reason for going, to see our son. Our friendship with him continues to grow. Since our parent/child relationship is partially behind us, we hope that he continues to turn to us not only as his parents but as his dear friends as well.

Fourth:  Permanent Full Time Employment. Yeah!
Beloved has been discovered!  He has part-time employment at a bookstore and was hired as a coffee barista, but he works in all the departments when needed.  His store is closing so he's been worried about finding a new job. A woman customer noticed that he was everywhere it seemed at once. She complimented on his excellent customer service and his willingness to help out his fellow co-workers.  And then she offered him a job. Full-time employment with benefits and a raise in pay.  Woo-hoo!

Fifth: My Wedding Anniversary! Kisses.
This is why I picked this weekend to go see our son. To celebrate our love, to celebrate what our union gave us, Beloved, and to celebrate the many years of happiness we have shared.



Speaking about happiness we have all shared, head over to Keely's UnMom and read the tales of the more random happiness happening over there.

Puerto Rico. Do I Have To Go To Paradise?

Panoramic Views of lush valleys at every turn.  

I haven't been to Puerto Rico since I was thirteen years old. I wasn't interested in going back because of that teenage attitude, "Been there. Done that." But Papi and Mami are in their 80s and need help opening and cleaning their vacation home and then help packing and closing the place when they leave. My sisters have been taking turns going and later returning with them.

I have been avoiding it, but it was my turn to take them. Sister in the Middle, Sister After Me, and Only Brother have been there twice already. Finally the inevitable had to happen. It was my turn.

So I went with much apprehension in leaving my business (especially my little dragons), my husband (it's hard to leave your solace and life-force), my home (not too much time left before Christmas), and my comfort zone (change is not necessarily a good thing.)

I dreaded the plane rides. (Delays, cancelled flights. It's happened so often. I also pray a lot during takeoffs, landings, any time between 11,000 to 42,000 feet and during turbulence.)
I dreaded the drive from one side of the island to the other side of the island. (Rush hour. Wow, I didn't need to experience that.)
I didn't want to think about the drive up the steep, winding roads to my parents' home at the top of a ridge. (Horror stories from Only Brother, constantly telling me his driving mantra, "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!)
I especially didn't want to drive it in the dark. (Damn, I had to drive it in the dark.)
I worried about the state of the house and their car. (Last year there was no running water for a week. The stove was broken, the toilet was broken, and the car wouldn't start.)

But I kept my perspective and my fears in check and decided that "no expectations" was the best expectation. Sister After Me said, "You have to decide to be in the moment."  Because in the end, when you can't change or have control of what's going on, you have to go with it. You have to be in the moment.

I'm back, exhausted. I feel like I've been on high alert, jittery for seven days. But my sisters and brother were right. I didn't believe them, or I didn't care to listen.

But by the second day, I fell in love with Puerto Rico. Yes because of its infinite beauty, but more, because it was the land of my forefathers. My mother was raised in these hills.  Almost every home my mother pointed out was a relative's home, a cousin, an uncle, or an aunt. She pointed to businesses owned or once owned by relatives. She pointed to miles of valley and hill sides that belonged to her father and uncles. I was amazed how hard and beautiful the terrain was. I was amazed on how much family history was still here.

My father was raised in a much dryer and hotter area, lower in elevation, but just as beautiful. The terrain was flat, the flora more cactus like. We spent an afternoon and evening there, but the breezes of the cooler hills were calling us back home.

So the next few posts will be about my days in Puerto Rico with my parents. Time with them I would not have traded in the world.  I'm so glad I'm home, but I am equally as glad that I went.

The hardest part of the trip was leaving them behind.

Father's Day - The Emotional Roller-coaster Ride of Manhood

Go over to the Spin Cycle. Topic is Father's Day.  Enjoy all the great reads.


Father's Day was a hoot. I know of five arguments that broke out that day. Some serious, some not so serious, but it made for a really weird weekend. It emphasized how stressed out everyone is, especially the men in the family.

I feel sorry for guys sometimes. I was brought up in the "knight in shining armor" era, a fantasy held by many young women of my age. While my man was courting me, I fell in love with him because he was funny, brilliant, and talented. He did so many things well. Maybe that's why I thought he could fix anything and everything. Geez, wasn't he a husband and dad, a man ready to take on all problems and solve them.

Men come home to the news that a pipe busted, the refrigerator stopped working, the car broke down, or the sewer backed up. Then all eyes in his loving family look to him to fix it.

"What do you mean you don't know what you are doing? You're A Man."

And if you don't have the extra cash to pay for large repairs, men will get down and dirty and learn by doing, bitching and swearing all the way, coming up for air, red-faced, venting about the hour they just spent trying to dislodge a part that just won't budge.

We learn that they are as vulnerable and as fallible as we are. When reality pushed my fantasy aside, I realized we were in it together.  Together sounded good, fair and even empowering. How fair was it for me to think he could fix everything that went wrong in my life, just because he was the lead man in the family?

I realized that most men are really just the boys their mamas and daddys raised. Men need their women just as much as women need their men. In the beginning, we are all just inexperienced grown up kids before we become wise old farts.

Father's Day is usually a very nice day with events celebrating all the dads in our family. This weekend was an exception. It was a very weird weekend.

My brother-in-law picked a fight with my sister because, well, it was Father's Day.

My other brother-in-law picked a fight with my other sister, because, it was Father's Day.

My mother-in-law and her son, my husband, exchanged a few heated words. It was about to become a full emotional blow out but luckily cooler heads prevailed when the subject was changed. They let it go.

I thought I was going to have an argument with my hubby, when I told him he should apologize to his mum. But he would have nothing to do with it. He refused to budge on his position and I really couldn't argue with him, because he was basically right. Argument averted. Yeah.

My brother-in-law tried again and decided to pick a fight with the rest of his extended family via email accusing us of not doing enough in the care of our elders. We did not take the bait.

As my generation gets older, new responsibilities begin to emerge. As our parents age or pass away, sons everywhere are endowed with the title of Head of the Family. It's is a hard one to resolve sometimes, I suspect. I also suspect that the enormity of that bring men in any family down.

For some, this is the first year without their dads.

Several with mothers with latter stages of depression, Alzheimer's, and lung disease. Without adequate funds and no females family members, it's sometimes hard to cope emotionally with the highly personal task of caregiver and all that the job entails. They are stuck and want to escape, but can't.

So Father's Day, a day celebrating men and fatherhood. This particular Father's Day was a day full of problems with the women in their lives. They don't want the title of being patriarch of the family, that belonged to their dear departed fathers. There is a lot of guilt, stress and melancholy when dealing with their moms. They have to step in and take over the roles of their fathers, becoming their mothers' advocates, care-giver, financial advisor, and sometimes, her companion.

Stressed out fathers? Yes.
Feel like celebrating Father's Day today.  No.

Travel Companions

I have found over the years that I love traveling with my husband. Whether that be running around doing our weekly errands or a weekend road trip.


The two of us tooling down the road ready for high adventure, even if the adventure is just driving to the local fruit market. Always prepared, Queen Maker packs cold water and coffee. On longer excursions there are oranges, apples and sometimes trail mix and jerky. We bring our own coffee bean and coffee maker just to make sure we have an amble supply of the luscious brew.

The car is a comfortable traveling sanctuary.  We talk and talk. We listen to great music. We munch and crunch all the way down the highway. Rarely does either one of us sleep on long road trips. We take turns pulling out our notebooks writing down our thoughts and ideas. We are quiet together too.

A car meant adventure. We're on the road and who knows what the road will bring. Adventure was possible. Yes there were flat tires. I cried when I locked the keys in the car at a Kentucky rest stop. Almost running out of gas. Bad hotels and even worse restaurants.

We once found the only restaurant in the Western Hemisphere that could make a breakfast taste awful. Before we went into the restaurant, I made the mistake of saying, "How can you ruin breakfast? It's just two eggs, potatoes, and toast." Well, it can be done.

But there were also the unexpected little restaurants with atmosphere and great food. Lovely evenings in our hotel room. The crowd that gathered at the rest stop to help sooth me and help retrieve my keys. The Michigan State Trooper who changed our tire for us. The massive brown eagle we saw on the road. The surprising rest stop with a path to two gorgeous waterfalls and a small box canyon.

A car meant freedom. When we borrowed our parents' car, we felt freedom for a few hours. And when we  got older and could afford our own, freedom was complete.

A car is a time machine. Only Brother described the car as a time machine and I understood what he meant immediately. Queen Maker and I used to ride our bikes or walk everywhere. Distance didn't matter much to us. We rode our bikes miles and miles. We walked four miles a day to each other's house. A car was a time machine that gave you back minutes. It cut down travel time and returned them to you, allowing you to go further and get there faster.

So a rode trip is in our future. We haven't been on one for a long time. We were thinking about flying to our destination. An airplane might be the ultimate time machine but right now, it doesn't sound attractive at all.

So we will pack up our car with all the comforts of home, with the things we love to eat and hear and drink. We will listen to each other carefully. We'll marvel at the landscape. And the coffee will be flowing. We will enjoy each other's company and hold hands for miles and miles and miles.

Lots of Love There - Mother's Day Number 22

A sublime day.  The day came together in a lovely, almost poetic way.

Maybe it was the fact that I was able to pull off four days straight of uninterrupted sleep.  If this streak keeps up, mental agility and fortitude may return full force.  Always enjoy mental, chemical, joint, and muscular harmony.

Mother's Day.

The sun shined all day.  A mood enhancer for sure.

Took my mother to church. Every pew filled to bursting. Because my hearing is highly attuned today,  my mind is concentrating on the sounds of church. I close my eyes and listen.  There are so many layers of sounds and I listen to the undercurrent.  The sounds of children, the pre-schoolers, the toddlers, and babies hum throughout the mass.  And many times rise above the mass.

I open my eyes and search for them.  I don't have far to look because the pews are filled with them.  Some churches sequester their children to other parts of the church lest they disturb.  But in this church every child is held high by their parents.  Lots of love there. The children's small heads rest on their parent's shoulder. I try to discern boy toddler to girl toddler ratio, but give that up right away.  I'm glad that they are there.  Without them the place is stoic.

After church, Beloved and QueenMaker come by to visit with my mom.  Lots of love as grandmother hugs a grandson she's missed so much.   It makes me so happy to witness the massive amounts of love my child receives and better yet how much he gives in return.  

Beloved is here and now my Mother's Day begins anew.  He will be with us the rest of the day, no matter how long the day.  My heart is filling up.

The three of us together again.  Dad, Mom, Son.  A quiet peaceful comfort descends upon us.  On the ride to my mother in law's house, we reconnect as a family.  The two-wheeler becomes the tricycle again.  

QueenMaker is making dinner for his mom and I am helping him in the kitchen.  Beloved is visiting with his grandparents in the next room.  Lots of love there.

Breaded pork country ribs, salad, baked potatoes, a sauteed vegetable medley that included onions, asparagus, red and yellow peppers, zucchini, carrots, and lacinato kale.  Dessert was homemade pecan pie.  It was awesome.  Lots of love there.  Okay mostly in one direction as we devour it all.

We end the evening by watching Jeremy Brett in Sherlock Holmes.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this series.

On the ride home we talk about martial arts, chinese philosophy, and the western mindset.  The college student actually had an interesting conversation with his parents.  

The best gift my son gave me today and every time we get to spend time together as a family, is when he says, "Today was a good day." or   "I always feel so relaxed when I'm with you guys." or  "I miss our time together so much sometimes."  

A Mother's Day that fills the soul.

Spontaneous Northern Day aka Snow Day

Every once in a while, the planets align and unexpected bliss rains upon the hopeful.


The snow comes just at the right time.  Time enough to close school for the full day.


The snow stops just at the right time.  Early morning hours, giving you plenty of time to play out there.


The snow is the right type.  Not too wet, not too powdery, but the proper weight and consistency.


The snow pile is just high enough.  Plenty of powder, but not enough to give anyone a heart attack.


And the best thing of all, because the timing is just right,  Mom or Dad gets to stay home too.


And finally, it happens.  The day is here!  


And when we drove by the park, I made QueenMaker stop the car to watch.  We both were filled with happiness because we knew that perfection had arrived. We remember fondly the feeling of it.  

A spontaneous day had arrived, when there are no other plans than to play in the snow.

I didn't want to let it go and quickly got out to take a picture.  The wide hill was full of people, more than I had ever seen.  My picture does not reflect the multitude, or the joyful noise, or the smiling kids and parents.

But of course, it's hard to capture perfection.