A Wistful Dear So-and-So

Dear Father-in-Law,

Could you please not get the Alzheimer disease yet?  I’m not prepared.  I didn’t know how quickly it would or could take hold.  You and Mom (an invalid) live an hour away.  Your job of taking care of your wife will become mine.  I am realizing that my life is going to be overtaken by your lives. Can I have a month or two to get used to the idea?  No.  Okay, I understand.

Love,

Your wistful daughter.

Dear Mother-in-law,

You’ve called in a panicked state the last two days since your husband has been in the hospital.  Because of your illness, emphysema and COPD, you have abrogated all thought processes to your husband for the last decade. So when you called me I said, “Step up to the plate. What happened to that woman that was a single mom, taking care of her kid, and working two jobs?  The woman who used to take care of business, the accountant, the avid reader, the capable woman I used to know? Don’t worry I will be there to do for you, but I won’t take over ALL of your responsibilities as you have given to your husband. You need to help me as much as you need me to help you.  Make some phone calls woman, ask questions, be a proactive advocate. You are not helpless.

Love,

Your Partner in Illness

Dear Life,

Why do you insist on changing on a dime?  What, did you see a dime on the ground? Did I step on it by accident?  Maybe it was someone else’s dime.  I know, I know.  I stepped on it anyways.  I won't fight it.

Regards,

Learning to Balance Life as It Comes

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Dear Four and Five Year Olds

Visit 3 Bedroom Bungalow for more Dear So and So's. This is my first one.  

Dear four and five year olds,

Please refrain from calling my name 17 times in one minute.  Although my ability to hear three conversations at once is amazing, I can’t possible do five, six, or seven.  The cacophony of noise actually made my brain freeze.

Yours in hiding, Teach

Dear four and five year olds,

My bad. After my brain unfroze, I realized my mistake.  Please raise your hands if you want to talk to me.  Thanks.

Hopeful, Teach.

Dear four and five year olds,

I meant raise your hands and wait until I look at you before talking.  Thanks a heap.

Got it Now, Teach.

(With a deep breath and thinking, "How do real teachers do this?) 

Dearest four and five year-olds,

Again my apologies. Raise your hand and wait until I call your name before you start talking. 

Learning lessons, Teach

Dear four and five year olds,

Please don’t get angry because I call someone else’s name first. I’m sorry I didn’t get to you fast enough, no offense meant. That furrowed brow of yours is so deep I’m tempted to sow some seed.

Tired, Teach

Dear four and five year olds,

Mom and Dad are here to pick you up.  I will see you tomorrow.  It will be a different day I’m sure.  I will be better prepared, I promise.  I’ll figure it out. I’ll be going to bed early tonight, and for my sake, please do the same.

Lessons learned, Teach